Friday, February 8, 2013

Cue Marvin Gaye...

Click play first:

So I've crawled out of the pool and grown legs and have begun my journey to the weight and equipment part of the YMCA. I've looked with envy at the ellipticals and treadmills. I even have longed to get on the stair climber, that's how sick and twisted I have become without my daily dose of running.

The free weights part of the room is like a carnival display of testosterone-filled, sweaty, grunting men staring at their biceps and thick necks with admiration. I have postponed that area for another day.  For now, I have been finding machines that don't cause pain in my foot. Hamstring curl, leg extension, bicep, tricep, shoulder press, captain's chair for my squishy abs, and the sex machines. It's been a good experience for me to...what's that? Back up? Sex? Machines?

Technically, they are the abductor and adductor machines. Here's how it goes:

I see them, side by side, waiting for a volunteer to sit and show their goods to the entire gym. I believe these two machines should be set aside in their own dimly-lit room, jasmine candles burning, and a little Marvin Gaye playing in the background.

The last time I used them, I realized in horror that the seam in my capris had a little tear in it...not THERE, thankfully, but it was a good reminder to choose my adductor apparel more carefully.

What's your favorite machine at the gym?  Do you abduct? Adduct? Do you grunt in the front of the mirror in public?

Thought you'd enjoy this little groin-busting picture. 

Until next time, I have a hot date at the YMCA.