Saturday, July 7, 2012

Parental Wisdom and Other Nonsense

I recall hearing, "Well she doesn't butter both sides of the broomstick!" when I was younger from a parent and I inherently knew what it meant, ridiculous as it sounded.  I knew I had the parenting gene. I tried to use this saying with my family when my daughters were young, but it didn't feel right so I dropped the forced saying.

This post is dedicated to all the worn-out, frazzled, discombobulated parents who, when forced against a wall, will squeeze out some ridiculous or borrowed saying from generations of parents.  And when we say, "Because I told you so!", we mean it!

  • Close the door!  Were you raised in a barn?
  • I suppose if _______ were to jump off the Empire State Building (or insert any really high point), you would too.
  • I am not made of money!
  • I am not a money tree!
  • For the millionth time...
  • Don't make me pull this car over!
  • Knock it off!
  • Get back here!  I'm talking to you!
  • Stop yelling! (this is almost always yelled)
  • Stop your crying or I'm gonna give you something to cry about.
  • Keep it up, missy (or mister)!
  • I don't like this any more than you do.
  • I hope you have children just like you. Payback!
  • Listen up.  All men are pigs!
  • Don't eat THAT!
  • Your face is going to freeze that way!
  • Just try me.  See what happens.
  • Someday you'll understand.
  • Go outside and play!  
  • If you're bored, I have plenty for you to do.
  • When I was a kid, we spent all day outside and never got bored.
  • Get off the computer!
  • If I have to tell you one more time!
What do you remember your parents saying when you were young?  Do you find yourself saying the same things to your children?